17. Weee

Day: July 30, 2011

Song: Dazzling Blue, by Paul Simon

Meal: Shrimp skewer + Margaritas

Admission: Lovely work day, lovely after work date with Noah, lovely pub date with friends. 

16. Yep yep

Day: June 29, 2011

Song: Six Feet Under theme song

Meal: Leftover pizza

Admission: I love prosecco.

15. Where I Want to Be

Day: July 28 2011

Song: Drop it Like it's Hot, by Snoop Dogg

Meal: Citrus poached salmon + radish and kale salad

Admission: Best day ever in LA with Lynn. Museums and munchies and loving.

14. Me Day

Day: July 27, 2011

Song: Salesman at the Day of the Parade, by Rogue Wave

Meal: Caprese Sandwich + Perrier on Larchmont Ave

Admission: Entire day by myself. Good food, movie, networking party.

13. Coolin' Off

Day: July 26, 2011

Song: Laura's Jewish cover of Ke$ha... long car ride

Meal: A&W Root Beer Float

Admission: Balboa Island for the Original Frozen Banana. Pop Pop!

12. Burnin Up

Day: July 25, 2011

Song: Take Over Control, AfroJack

Meal: Buffet of 39582 things at the Bellagio

Admission: Frozen drinks by the pool. Enough said.

11. Gettin' Hot

Day: July 24, 2011

Song: My Turn, Basement Jaxx

Meal: Mahi Mahi Salad and Munch Punch

Admission: Melting on the road to VEGAS, (baby, vegas).

10. Lazy Day

Day: July 23, 2011

Song: Avril 14, by Aphex Twin

Meal: Mango and DragonPassionTart Yogurt Land

Admission: Due to having been out of town for the past almost week, no admissions will be made. LAME. You still get a picture. Deal.

9. Get low

Day: July 22, 2011

Song: Last Friday Night, by Katy Perry

Meal: Lunch-- Noah's Carrot Cupcake

Admission: WHAT a good day today. Started out playing tennis again, (really loving getting back into that), then it was off to work which, besides a 5 dollar short scare, was pretty painless. Then, cupcake in hand, I had to rush down to PB to attend Kelsey's farewell dinner, which was so so so nice. Family style salads, Brazilian Bowl entree, Flourless Chocolate Cake for dessert, bottomless Sangria. Heaven. So nice to catch up with the tx crew, too. Those girls mean so much to me. THEN I had to rush up to Encinitas to go out with some kids from work, which turned out to be a complete blast. I'm so lucky to have met who I have and be able to hang out with them outside of where we normally know of each other. Lots of dancing and laughing going on.

Couldn't ask for anything more.

8. Je ne sais pas

Day: July 21, 2011

Song: Julia, by The Beatles

Meal: Dinner-- Lemon Garlic Shrimp with Arugula, Shaved Parmesan, and Olive Oil 

Admission: Well today was interesting. Much better. I got up and out early today and played tennis with Veronica; I've missed that sport way too much. The rest of the day consisted of finalizing travel plans (weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee), running errands, making all different kinds of soy milk smoothies (slight addiction, don't judge), a slightly extreme Six Feet Under marathon (THANK YOU NOAH), a coffee date with a long lost gymnastics friend, and drinks with the mom after work. All in all I felt more solid, today. Content. 

7. Erg

Day: July 20

Song: Strangest Times, by Jon Brion

Meal: Dessert- (A big slice of) Frozen Key Lime Pie

Admission: Ugh. I'm in a bad mood. I was in a bad mood yesterday, which made me not care about posting on time, which makes me mad and in a bad mood today. Work was rough. And that set off a chain reaction of negative thinking-- don't really want to rehash it all, but it's the usual seed that's always nesting in my brain, ready to set itself on fire and spread when given the chance. Basically that I'm predisposed for failure, that I don't have any ideas, etc. It sucked. Luckily I'm blessed with people in my life who swoop in, sensing that I'm not all ok, and help snap me out of it and piece me back together. It's amazing how one's own brain can be so defeating. I just need to be stronger and not let my first instinct by "nope, ya can't". What a waste, you know? 

Picture from my drive, when I think the most. 

6. In the Dark

Day: July 19th, 2011

Song: Tidal, by Imogen Heap

Meal: Lunch-- Homemade egg salad sandwich with a PICKLE. I love pickles.

Admission: First, today's picture is dumb. If I could include one that really represented the most significant point of my day, it would be of the sky on my drive home tonight. But. That would have been dangerous. So another cupcake picture it is. Today was pretty mellow. Spent time finalizing travel, (details to follow, when it's OFFICIAL :) ) , drank lots of tea and oj, and baked cupcakes with the copious amounts of zucchini family friends are giving us. My mom helped. Work today was really nice. I was on register the whole time and luckily no hell broke loose while I was up there. Still struggling with one manager-- everything I do seems to be wrong in her eyes and its really discouraging and feels pretty yucky to always feel like you're a screw up. Ah well. Tonight's drive home was magical! I drove thru base and it was DESERTED. Literally almost the only car. Because there are no lights out there the sky was sooo starry. The radio was playing super chill music and it was just the nicest vibe in my little jetta. It made me miss going out to the desert with my dad for astronomy and feeling awed and overwhelmed at how pretty freaking cool it is that we exist just in general. 

Focus, focus!

5. What is this called?

Day: July 18th, 2011

Song: Zebra, by Beach House

Meal: Dinner- Cod, with Toasted Pine Nut Couscous and Salad + Prosecco

Admission: Whoa, what a complete reverse from the past few days I've had. I've gone from jam packed, people filled to no plans and utter solitude. This is usually my worst nightmare. I just get extremely antsy and seem to exhaust my go-tos (facebook, damn it, travel magazines, photo blogs) in record time. I killed an hour or two baking a pie (Frozen Key Lime, yummyYUMS), but other than that I just piddled around doing absolutely nothing. I HATE this. This is in part because it forces me to have a lot of time to think, which I probably just want to avoid. When it finally got nice enough to sit outside, I took a glass of prosecco onto the deck and forced myself to reflect. I came to realize and acknowledge that I am in many ways unsatisfied with how my life is. My job, where I live... I got frustrated and sad. And I also felt guilty, because my life is in no way shape or form BAD. I am so blessed in so many ways. It's just not what I envisioned for myself, I think. But the important thing I have to remember is that this is not what it's going to be forever. That's impossible. So what chapter is this going to be. How can I make the most of what my life is right this moment.

Ow. My head hurts. 

4. Easy Does It

Day: July 17th, 2011

Song: Polite Dance Song, by the Bird and the Bee

Meal: Dinner-- Veggie burgers with sauteed peppers, onions, and mushrooms + an Amstel Light. Perfect summer meal.

Admission: Today was another really rather fantastic day. Even more so because I didn't expect it to be. Everything just sort of unfolded naturally, smoothly, pleasantly. Met Mallory for coffee before she heads back to SLO, realizing that we both desperately needed haircuts (my bangs touched my eyeballs... ew) so went and got quick trims together. Then I drove down to La Jolla to meet KelsBells, who is one of the most eye-catchingly beautiful girls I know, and her two friends Rieko and Emily, who are equally as stunning. It's interesting company to keep; they are fashionistas with an eye for all things gorgeous and crafty, so my self-doubting tendencies have a field day and tend to make feel super inadequate, but I really tried to just enjoy the moment and if anything, draw inspiration from these fascinating people. We went thrift store shopping, art browsing at the La Jolla Museum for Contemporary Art, and ended with a cliff top photo shoot with all our fancy cams. I felt all bubbly and happy, a sense of contentedness that I haven't in a long time. Treated myself to yogurt land on the way home (Strawberry+Coconut+Tart, hollaaa) and ended the day with dinner and a beer with the parents on our deck. 

So. Nice.

I'm so blessed.

3. Luh Dat

Day: July 16th, 2011

Song: Rococo, by Arcade Fire

Meal: Lunch with friend Diondra @ Fallbrook Coffee Company-- Turkey with lettuce, tomato, and BRIE.

Admission: What an awesome day. Again, full, non stop, just the way I like it. This morning my friend Diondra drove up from PB to visit me for mimosas on the deck. After lunch she headed out and I decided to treat myself to a massage, post tweaking it HARDCORE at work, which is, I totally admit, really really pathetic. Damn you, denim bar. Then it was straight to meet Noah and his boyfriend Gabe for happy hour and dinner and HARRY POTTER--which, holy crap, did not dissapoint. So flip flopping good. I cried. I knew I would. After the movie I met up with childhood friends Mallory and Veronica and their BFs Cameron and Robert. So fun to be silly and catch up. Picture today is from deck time pensiveness. 

2. Just a touch of magic

Day: July 15th, 2011

Song: Trigger Happy, by Peter Bjorn and John

Meal: Lunch= Butterbeer cupcakes and a glass of cream soda. My teeth hurt, in case you were wondering.

Admission: Today was such a good day. Full, productive... the way I like 'em. This morning I hashed out my HOPEFUL trip to Turkey with Amy. It looks like, barring I get a job in LALAland, which my cynical self highly doubts, we'll be flying off to Istanbul in late September. So excited. I have the travel bug bad and just want to go anywhere and everywhere and just eat and see and experience it all. In the afternoon I went to Andrew's house and baked the HIGHLIGHT of my day, these butterbeer cupcakes. Lots of silly awkward moments with clumpy butter and turkey basters, hard to explain, all of it great. Not to mention they were crazy delicious. It's been really awesome getting to know people I work with at Urban more and more-- sitting in the sun on his porch Andrew and I discovered we and another coworker all heart film and really want to do a project, which is JUST what I need. Work itself today was pretty mellow; people loved the cupcakes, as they SHOULD, lucky ducks. Out pretty early and now back at home, where I write to you, perhaps sipping on a beer, I don't know......

Night night!

 Peekaboo, cupcakes!

1. And so it begins

Day: June 14th, 2011

Song: Black Hole, by She & Him

Meal: Not really a meal, but fitting considering it's almost a daily staple, and it from where I'm writing now: Vanilla Latte From Cafe Primo in Fallbrook, CA

Admission: Today's picture is actually from yesterday... cheating already... Not sure if this is a good sign. It's Alisa, one of my best friends, with our drinks of choice at Primo. Meeting up with this girl always provides some sort of revelation and/or inspiration for me. She is 100% heart. Her answers to the "so what have you been up to" question involve visits to refugee families and plans to move to Malawi. It tends to bring up a lot of self introspection for me. I've been so consumed with finding a job in LA and the disappointment  and self-doubt that has so far come along with that that I sometimes wonder if I've lost sight of more meaningful things. I'm sure I have. It's part of the reason why I copied Andrew with this project--to rediscover passions and drives and plans and ideas that have fallen by the way side in this desperate and oftentimes blinded search for what I THINK I need to be doing, and what I THINK will make me happy.  It's going to be an interesting adventure, I think.